Dear Pine Bush parents and staff,
As we face our battle against the Coronavirus, many of us are simultaneously wrestling with a companion disease – Cabin Fever. While we work towards building better responses to this novel virus on a national and international level, we’ll have to battle a range of related threats on a personal level. To help us do that, I want to share the perspectives of author David Rock, who identified five arenas of social needs in the brain that, when unmet, can make us feel threatened and lead to a fight, flight or freeze response – biting off others’ heads, wanting to hide in our rooms, or feeling frozen by indecision. Rock used the acronym SCARF to identify these five social needs, and I will dedicate my Sunday message over the next few weeks to address each of them, one at a time. I’ll provide you with a brief description and a series of questions to ponder that you can use to countermand the negative toll this pandemic may be taking on our social/emotional well-being.
The “S” in SCARF stands for status. One major source of status comes from the rewards we receive from work. Our work lives are a deeply imbedded part of our identities. When that is removed or its context significantly altered, as it has been for many during this emergency, we may suffer a sudden loss of what makes us feel valued and important. Having others who are dependent on us to provide and not being fully capable of doing that can also rob us of a sense of status. A third loss of status comes when we feel helpless to support loved ones who may be sick or alone. My identity as a helper who supports others is compromised by a feeling of powerlessness to make a difference because I may be stuck in my home and unable to be there for friends and family members.
If any of this rings true for you, I invite you to consider these three helpful questions:
- What are some things that you can do right now to keep you centered and grounded?
- What are some things that help you to feel productive and contributing that you can still do in these current circumstances?
- What are some things that you might need to let go of during this time?
Our current crisis looks like it’s going to last for a while. So let’s be sure that we are taking good care of ourselves, in order to go the distance.
Until tomorrow, be safe, be kind, and be patient. We will get through this together.
Tim O. Mains, Pine Bush Superintendent