Dear Pine Bush parents and staff,
Friday’s news that we will remain closed for the remainder of the year has hit many hard. Whether it’s the loss of cherished traditions, like field trips and proms, the prospect of trying to maintain the more taxing effort of online learning, or just the realization that teachers won’t be able to see their students and students won’t be able to see their teachers and classmates – it all makes the next two months even more challenging. Please know we do have plans for graduation and moving up ceremonies that I will be describing this coming week, but that only provides closure for fifth graders, eighth graders and seniors.
On Sundays I have been reviewing the work of author David Rock, who identified five arenas of social needs that align with the acronym SCARF. When you find yourself (or you notice others) blowing up, wanting to be left alone or feeling frozen by indecision, it could be because you (or they) are experiencing the fight, flight or freeze response that occurs when we feel threatened. And certainly, this pandemic in general (and last Friday’s news in particular) may leave many of us feeling that several of those needs are going unmet.
This week, I conclude my coverage with the “F” in SCARF, which stands for Fairness.
Rock suggests fairness may be the strongest need of all among the five in SCARF, because it affects our perceptions of the other four areas. There are so many fairness concerns in these times of pandemic. It’s not fair that my age group is most impacted. It’s not fair that some have better health care. It’s not fair that I lost my job and others are thriving. It’s not fair that my family cannot get our basic needs met. It’s not fair that the behavior of some put others at risk. Lack of perceived fairness thwarts the possibility for productive collaboration in a time we need it most. If you or others around you are thinking about how unfair our current circumstance may be, here are some helpful questions to consider:
1. How might I be the best resource I can be to others who may be struggling? Reaching out and helping others usually benefits both individuals emotionally.
2. What do I need to attend to in order to manage my emotions? We all should have found stress relievers that work for us personally. Two of mine are exercising and listening to music.
3. How can I assist my community in serving the common good for all? During this emergency, there are numerous ways we can help our larger community, and especially those front-line essential workers.
In times of uncertainty, there are no black and white answers, only questions to keep us resourceful in being conscious in a world of ambiguity. As you focus on your personal wellness, consider SCARF as a lens for doing self-checks on your well-being.
Stay safe, everyone!
Tim O. Mains, Pine Bush Superintendent